I confess...sometimes I suck at being "20" something.

05/22/22

Home in Duluth, GA 

Time: Unknown 

Dear Daughter, 

Today was a really amazing day. Church was absolutely amazing. Pastor Johnson Bowie of Victory World Church is a wonderful leader. Today’s message was “How to be a witness” and let me just say… I am so thankful that God has chosen us to witness. Pastor Johnson made it so plain for us today. His 3 points were simple: witness what you see, witness what you hear, and witness what you experienced. Not hard, right? So why do we make being a Christian so complicated? Not that it’s just super simple…but it’s a daily process and it’s a daily walk. And let me tell you, I am walking this thing out the best way I know how. This past week was tough for me, I cried a long good cry, but you know what? That’s all a part of the “human experience”. Some days just suck and that’s ok. As always, seemingly, I am changing. I’m not ever sure what God is doing in my life, but I trust him and I trust him for real, for you too. My faith is growing and everyday I believe more and more. What saddens me most is that I feel like there’s not enough time in any day for me to see people, or call and check on my loved ones, or just be present for people throughout my work day. Lol “Hi, my name is Malani and I’m your mom and I am extremely hard on myself.” I try not to be, but I’ve convinced myself that the only way to keep me focused and accountable is “tough love”, and that is far, far, far from the truth. I can’t “people please” my entire life and I cannot be an intern my entire life either. So guess what? I’m going to have to exercise boldness, a gift God has given me - and really set my eyes on the things Christ wants me to have. He doesn’t hope for me to live in the spirit of lack, so why do I? My pride and my prison of opinions have kept me here and I don’t want to live like this anymore. I deserve a life that glorifies God in every aspect of my life and his word declares that I have just that. So here’s to you, and anybody else that will read this someday; because I know you’ll read this and say, “Mom, how did you get to where you are today?” And my answer will be simple…I just won’t ever give up on the power of the Holy ONE that lives in me. Christ is real and if you allow it…he will reveal himself to you. For anybody reading this, but especially for you - Be a good human. Be kind to yourself and always remember your mother loves you so much. Here’s my prayer for today. 

Father God, in the name of Jesus, Thank you. Thank you for blessing me to see another day that you have made. For getting me to a place of peace to hear your voice and see your way. You are the best king of love, and with you I have joy. Father, deliver me from pride, acceptance, people pleasing and a lack of courage. I decree and declare that I am excellent in the name of Jesus. Lord help me to be steadfast in your word. Lord it is you that I follow and in your light is where my spirit dwells. See me through every storm and be my guide on every dark road. Lord my faith is at your side with your son Jesus the Christ, and through him I will do your will. I am baptized in your holiness and I receive your favor and covering over my life. In Jesus' great name I pray, Amen!